30^th August 2003

I always wanted to be a classical Music fanatic but the lure of the catchy tunes of pop music always had me… Am listening to Classic FM on the radio in the car as I drive to do a bit of shopping… I find my thoughts heaving and subsiding in parallel with the music – it's a different sort of event when listening to classical music – I often do not 'hear the tune' but just respond to it – so if you ask me if I liked that tune I just heard – I would often think, what tune? – since it was more of a exploratory experience of things going through my mind…

I recently found out my Grandpa was a headteacher in the village he lived in in HK – so that's why I have urges to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony… (also, he was a keen gardener)…

25^th August 2003

Am listening to Busted blasting out of my music system… wanted to write this diary though… feel up side down… a bit exhilarated and also a bit must calm down & take hold of my senses… (that book – 1984 – really was a good read – it hit me – it still hits me again & again…) Got a lot to write but perhaps now is not the right time yet… Just might make mental notes – subjects to write about… Hmmm… will do so on my MindMap… bye for now…

24^th August 2003

Been busy re-organising my room, and putting shelves up. Am dismayed, it's like in Good Will Hunting, I've surrounded myself with books, but all the wrong books – nothing much of value… I guess I just like to hoard things…

12^th August 2003

How infuriating, I have not been able to connect to the internet for 3 days now… it's because my cable is too long & I need the line gain turning up a bit more – they already did so at BT before, but it didn't make a difference – want them to put it on max, - but couldn't seem to get through to them – put in a queue… Am annoyed…

I found a new thing! EMindMaps – a disk freebie – maybe you can find it on the internet to download, but it's really good for making spider-diagram lists & re-ordering things about. MY life will be more organised from now on…

11^th August 2003

Ambitions for the week: stop eating ready-made microwave meals for lunch at work in this heat… move onto an alternatives but hate eating sandwiches – since dry since I don't like butter… Pasta and sauces, etc, etc. sweetcorn red peppers, ham slithers, chicken… Mmm… Must go down to local Tesco store & see what they have on offer… I like Béchamel sauce but can you put it in a pasta salad?

I want to issue a career-mission statement: At this moment in time it is not about individual gain, but the ability to work & function well as a team player within the group…

I suppose that's what I feel at the moment, as if a part pf me is on 'hold'… for the time being.

10^th August 2003

- 'look at that little snob'

- 'she obviously doesn't care about her money'

Am just about to start my Dewey Decimal Classification of the books I own… When I get a place of my own, I want to have enough space/ bookshelves to place them properly in order – not higgily-piggily – all over the shot. – as they are at the moment in my room…

9^th August 2003

Gave up on Word… I have installed a freebie: Netobjects Fusion 4… it seems to be working.

6^th August 2003

It was ok… I went online & did not get persecuted…

5^th August 2003

Have been ill/ off work for 2 days… Am just starting to get my strength back, but am hot & tired still… Was scared to go on the internet at the moment (I have a phobia – a paranoia). Am scared the same thing will happen & so don't want to go on… but it's my link to know what's going on – I have to check the status of my order from Amazon, etc… but still… am scared. – you see at this moment I don't think I could cope if my fears were true… but as time goes on I think 'nonsense, it couldn't happen again – it didn't happen the first time' – as you might have guessed I am paranoid… - or getting that way at the moment, plus anxious I am not at work, and the work I have to do is piling up… but I feel better today, there are glimpses I am back on track…

Well, will go online at 6pm – have decided… I could always call a friend Christina if the worst came to the worst – she has a very good way of making me see sense.

I am scared someone is out there to get me – not necessarily from the internet… but I think… I'm into sale shopping at the moment & the women who served me seemed nice & friendly – they didn't want to harm me… I mean, not all people are against me, want to spit on me, tell me how small I am…It's a ridiculous phobia but I have it all the time… maybe it's just called an inferiority complex…

Do you know what I want to do at the moment… I want to work-out, do exercise, feel really tired & sleep & then get up fully refreshed… but however, I can't – I'm still ill & fatigued…

… been downstairs… wash & showered… and ironed some skirts for tomorrow & the rest of the week.

3^rd August 2003

Today I start this web page… got a list of bugging things to write about but they seem to have scarpered…Might check the text – so you eager beaver readers can see it ok… Ok, changed it to Arial 10 – since 11 is too big for the eyes on this… Also, ideas, am copying someone else's web page – layout – kind of… but will have my pictures down one side – might get back to the drawing board to see if it works… Now to insert a picture: hold on – I want to add in my 'favourites' bit too… need room for that… have ordered a book on creating pages in easy steps – hope it is useful.

Am ill but am continuing to write – I have a cold… been in bed all day but getting v bored at the moment.

There are tonnes of things to write about – I might not be so clever and have to write things down on paper format first and then type it up afterwards – since pen and paper come easy to me and it doesn't jolt the mid-flow of sentences as typing does…bye for now… plus have a rasping sore throat and need to go nurse it now.

Am using Word at the moment, but might move onto using something else – I don't really know how to do this – first time – but it's exciting trying – shame that I feel so tired and ill though… been through my brother's cover disks off magazines and am trying to find a good web-page maker program. Unfortunately, perhaps my page is not really a 'web' page because I don't want to add too many links – and am really concerned with just writing it for myself – plus adding some pretty pictures in for anyone out there who likes to tune in and follow my saga. Maybe it could be like el dorado… - (The TV programme launched in Britain which got axed after a few shows due to the v poor acting and filming and ratings)…

Well, anyway, here goes… I quite like it – it's my own little world… unfortunately, in this little area, I would like to talk about everything…

Ooops, tried using text boxes but for some reason I can't view this in the web browser.

Ok so here we are back to pen and paper… it feels more comfortable already – also, don't need to lean to the right of my desk to type –(stupid desk organisation!) – just noticed on screen, I placed a trial picture on the page – it's of a chow-chow, - maybe will leave it there for you to see – it has kind of grown on me. It looks very proud of itself.

My favourite foods (and those I can cook) are:

- lasagne

- cauliflower/macaroni cheese

- pasta shells

- stir fry veg & chicken strips with garlic

- roast peppers, boiled veg & pasta with sauce

It's very tempting to put a lot about me on the website – since I write a lot, (diary-like) – on paper, & if someone nasty was out there to get me, I suppose they would get me… But I feel, my mad rantings, that people will just pass me by & get bored – no one seriously would have intentions to harm me? Well, don't know – that's one reason why I ordered a book from Amazon about making webpages… You see, the things is if it comes from someone else 'watch out & be careful' – then I will take heed and take my guard… but you see, I have this yearning to spill all the beans & say a lot about myself… It's my diary… It's my life & my way of recording it & editing it for the future… ie. I want to evolve… (well, might rethink my text size now, since 10 is probably shunting you up loads of pages by now or soon).

Friends – or people I have picked up along my way

Yvonne – dear girl! We've been penpals since I've been to Dresden, - just writing about what we have each got up to in our own little worlds.

Christina – another close friend.

Well, that's it – I have got 2 close friends – or of those that I want to mention. They are my main 2 confidantes & conspirators in plan-hatching.

Also friends are Sally – (from school), James, Steve, Peter, Jenny – those are the few I keep in touch with – they are slowly diminishing one by one though unfortunately.

… I feel like I am in a rush to write this webpage… and get it up & running… As if I am on a mission…

Oh, I nearly forgot this was meant to be an ideal photo opportunity for me to comcrete my tastes in architecture – explained later on…

Also, you might have guessed, I'm really just a mainstream popular culture freak – if you ask me if I have heard of so and so – not pop – then you will get a complete blank – but I know I shut my eyes & ears a lot while going about town. I'm into using lots of pop-phrases that I meet my way in the English language. – sorry, Carol Vorderman if I am being lazy and not using proper English sentences… Talk like a … Walk like a …

Also, I like the phrase 'ignorance is bliss' – (I often have to use it when I keep slipping up in situations)

Bye the way:

search by Google.co.uk – (Google is the best search engine in the world… - I always find the link I'm looking for comes up in the top 2 of every search). The reason I say this is because I am lazy and don't know how to make links yet – or have vague idea but am too lazy to carry it out – but wait a while and this site will change and get better… but as for now it is how it is.