August 2004




	30th August 2004: A happy life is one which is in accordance with its own nature. Lucius Annaeus Seneca 29th August 2004: Every cloud has a silver lining... I'm glad... feel better now... things are on the up... am going to read a bit now... I took out home insurance just a minute ago and it was cheaper than I thought and beat last year's price... I am happy... I've noticed that reading in bed gets me travel sick - and so unfortunately I cannot be one of those people who can read a book from start to finish in one night... Well, off now to swan around - what does that phrase mean? I mean to go off and unwind... and catch up on relaxing... 25th August 2004: but it bloody hurts! like the time I slipped when returning to my car on the petrol pump forecourt & had my keys in my hand & scraped a deep scratch down the front of my car door. this time it was because this morning I found that someone had stolen one of the rear wheels off my car, during the night. it wrecks me up inside... 24th August 2004: Yesterday evening when I went to have a shower, there was a bright green grasshopper in the bathroom... Last week when I woke up and walked to the bathroom, there was a medium sized slug on the airing cupboard door. 2 weekends ago when I came back from shopping, I found a fat silver-green catapillar - that I had never seen before - on the front door mat. 23rd August 2004: All was quiet and usual as normal... This morning, as I was leaving my hometown & drove towards work, a young boy was standing in the middle of the road pulling a moonie at me! Gee, I suppose the long summer holidays must be very boring & kids have a lack of things to do. Dangerous game - I could have run him over by accident. 21st August 2004: I'm in the mood for watching films again... I think I can do so now that I have nearly finished the first book of 'His Dark Materials' - it's a small breather... 16th August 2004: Sz Gene Defect in Mice There's a new face in schizophrenia research - assistant professor Jeffrey Eells at the MSU College of Veterinary Medicine recently received $55,000 from NARSAD. He is studying a particular strain of mice that show a gene mutation similar to one seen in humans with schizophrenia. Mice don't generally share their psychotic symptoms, so Eells is using other techniques to determine the mutant gene's effect. Specifically, he looks at an altered "prepulse inhibition" that is similar to what is observed in schizophrenia patients. "Prepulse Inhibition" is seen when a mild sensory event (the prepulse) is presented a short time interval before a strong, startle-inducing stimulus (such as a loud noise). In normal subjects, once these two events are reliably paired through conditioning, the prepulse will blunt the startle response to the stronger stimuli because the subject is expecting it. An altered prepulse inhibition is present in subjects that do not have reduced startle following the prepulse. In schizophrenia patients, this has been interpreted as indicating a deficit in the early sensory processing networks in the brain. - Is that why I never seem to understand/ calm down when logically all things point to me reaching the deadline on time but I have a struggle convinceing myself that I will make it - it preoccupies me and wrecks havoc with my system - all things are on hold, until the deadline - and then the next deadline I have to work towards - I don't learn emotionally and go through the whole thing again... I guess what I am trying to say is that I don't/ can't learn to chill out... ? I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! I now remember how boring it is to do Home Insurance online... Hooray, just found out the expiry is on 21st September - I still have a month to do it... I like to plan ahead in my diary but I forget I have done so & trip myself up sometimes. 15th August 2004: I had a fun-filled weekend doing things with friends and family... Just got back about an hour ago... It is now 9pm... A lot has happenned but I don't have time to explain... I intend to finish the chapter I am on in the book I am reading tonight... ok, I will explain... I think I am back on track after a few hiccups at work... I hope to be better... I am in the mood for work now... I found out that I don't like walking around parks in London... my feet don't last and my legs start to hurt after about 2miles... I visited my brother and then a friend called me out - who lives in London also... I had a nice pub lunch with him though... just have to remember that I don't like walking and no one is going to get me to walk lots again, haha! We also went to the Portrait gallery - to be honest I had only been in there only for their exhibitions and never had looked at the other stuff there... I quite liked the modern portraits and found it really interesting, though my friend was starting to tire so we went outside... that was when he suggested we walk to Hyde Park... I had forgotten how unfit I was... This evening must recoup... It's a hot evening again... I need to sort out the house insurance tomorrow evening since it expires on the 17th... On the way driving back from London, I listened to my usual - dance music... and just got the vibes again to venture out and go clubbing... I had zany ideas on how to get all the people I know to meet me at Equinox or somewhere where we could dance the night away!!! But now I have calmed down... Am satisfied with things at the moment... Will go online now to post this up... 13th August 2004: Maybe August a lull-period, where I don't do too much overtime... Now I have finished reading 'The Alchemist' and the Artemis Fowl book... It's a toss up between the first book of 'His Dark Materials' or 'The Life of Pi'. I actually think I will read 'His Dark Materials' now... I still have a lot of reading material to clear off my desk... 8th August 2004: "Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" The book is about the author and his son Chris, who go on a motorcycling holiday across America. The author tells us a tale about Phaedrus as they journey along. I am now going to read "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho... Must turn my eye back to architecture at some stage... Today is Sunday I am going to attempt to sift through the Building Designs - (and get rid of the pile building up on my floor)... I still have to read the correspondence letters between Mr Pirsig and someone, at the end of his book... - then I will start "The Alchemist"... Fee bad because I bought all the "His Dark Materials" books by Philip Pullman but don't envisage reading them untill after sneaking in another book about Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer... (- it's coming my way via Amazon currently...) Must get back onto Architecture after all this... I have ordered a book entitiled "Ecohouse 2" from Amazon. 7th August 2004: I "Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance'... I was oblivious to the fact that I had gone through something similar to the autor... Only till I got to the end of the book did I realise... I might read Lila - the sequel, or visit www.moq.org Dare I say it... but "Life of Pi" is a title that is grabbing me at the moment... friends who have read it, & I once read the back cover in a bookshop a few years ago, now I feel ready to read it... Remnants of what could be Phaedrus in my personality:- It must be stopped... The victim will commit suicide because no one acknowledges that the bully is violating them... 4th August 2004: ... And so, against the wishes of some people who would prefer I write about non-sensical things and all things sweet... I am going to talk about something ugly... - "Bullying in the Workplace"... I have to read up on it a bit more - to see what it encompasses - but if it can be recognised and striked out at school - I don't see why bullying has to persist into the workplace... but it's more subtle at work because the bully has learnt to refine its methods - it's normally not physical - more just emotional abuse - like treading on someone's toes on purpose because the bully knows that they can get away with it... Normally I think it has got to do with jealousy - the bully is normally jealous of something which it's victim has got - be it good looks, wealth or what... Normally the bully can get away with it because by the time the victim realises that the misery at work is not caused by some failing in their character but directly by things that the bully does to the victim - it's normally too late... there is no proof and no one seems willing to admit that such a thing can happen in the workplace. The bully gains in strength and power by knowing that the victim is powerless to stop it from happenning... Normally I think a bully would pick on an outsider or someone who is fairly quiet and nice to people... They know they can get away with it because their outward appearance to everyone is one of a good reputation... Bullies in the work place normally have a good reputation or at least have -- unless they are the boss and don't have to answer to anyone - but perhaps they would keep up appearances with their clients. (PS By the way, my boss isn't bullying me.) How to tackle it - it normally doesn't work if you try to gather evidence against the bully - this can take a long time and they will be on their best behaviour if they got wind of what you are doing... I suggest that perhaps yes, you should try to change them... it's not good enough to make them lose their job because they will try to get you back by unfair dismissal etc. because the main weapon the bully has is that there is no proof of what they did... That's all for now... I have to go and pack... I'm off for a micro-holiday tomorrow evening... 2nd August 2004: '2 out of 2' and 'thumbs up' from my boss. This time it was a new build scheme for a wealthy client who wanted a fairly large house built for himself and his family. He said "Thank you, it's just what I wanted. You've given me exactly what I asked for." 1st August 2004: Am reading through the last part of 'Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance' fairly quickly - it seems easier to read all of a sudden... maybe I am excited to get to the ending... I would like to read Plato and Aristotle.... I am interested to find out which strain of thought I come from....