23rd November 2004:

Something new... I have a confession to make... Go to this link: http://www.polyamory.org 

I've realised that - what I had been struggling with in my mind... how can I love that person but still also love that person? Is it just a friendship? - not a relationship - because I care about them that way? - sorry, a couple of you out there will be confused... I've got nothing against monogamous relationships... but I always put down my conclusion due to the fact that humans were capable of loving more than just one person... - due to evolution somewhere along the line... and I got more and more confused as to why I didn't go out and find just that 1 person and remain faithful to them for all my life? I have friends - male friends that I care about... one, I have known for ten years now... and I feel very comfortable with him - and I love him - though it's nothing sexual... and why if I tell so and so about so and so, why don't they throw things at me and storm off and sulk? - I used to think... do they not love me? - but they did... they cared a lot about me - but wow, it was so grown up... and I was a free - being... free to do what I wanted... since what I was doing was not out to hurt anyone.

17th November 2004:

I am having a fairly good week this week... it's Wednesday... Tomorrow might be busy... It is now 8pm... I am going to bed soon...

7th November 2004:

Just finished watching the RIBA Sterling Prize taped from TV... I knew I had to let the Gherkin/ Swiss RE building grow on me... It's really quite good... Now I just have to read 'Was Darwin Wrong?' in the National Geographic magazine...

Been reading... here is an extract:

"Such a pattern of tiered resemblances - groups of similar species nested within broader groupings, and all descending from a single source - isn't naturally present among other collections of items. You won't find anything equivalent if you try to categorize rocks, or musical instruments, or jewelry. Why not? Because rock types and styles of jewelry don't reflect unbroken descent from common ancestors. Biological diversity does. The number of shared characteristics between any one species and another indicates how recently those two species have diverged from a shared lineage."

6th November 2004:

Someone once said to me that I was very resilient... but I don't think so... I keep wondering how many more pieces of me are left to get eroded away - before I fizzle out... I seem to remember & carry around all the hurt I have encountered in the world... how much linger can I last? but then now, after these thoughts, I realise I understand the word resilient...

5th November 2004:

I have to write emails/ letters to friends this weekend... The day went ok today... On the way home from work I listened to Judge Jules on Radio 1... It put me in the partying mood - I wanted to go out and dance - but not get chatted up by people - just to dance and make up dance moves with complete strangers who too were ad libing to the music... and see what we could come up with...