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30th April 2007:
A Film/ A Clash in Paradise
If I made a film I would like Edward Norton to star in it - I have an idea - about a crazy but sane computer expert who is madly in love with someone he met during his lifetime... she
likes him but their paths were different... she goes off to be the company executive high-flyer understated job that gives her a lot of respect - while he actually ends up along a similar type of job... high paid -
discreet top secret office type tall skyscraper - best friends with boss - practically runs the company as well/ makes all the important decisions...
The story unfolds about where they meet... he chance
encounters with her... (we see in his drawer at work he keeps a secret picture of her - it is of a young girl)... it is now 10 years later... He is at the train/ tube station buying a coffee from a street seller... and
looks up... it's her... she somehow turns and sees him... their eyes meet... somehow he calls out 'Anya?' and she smiles 'Frank, is that you?' etc... they go and have coffee and chat and catch up... she is stunned to
see him doing so well in life... she is naturally happy to talk about herself and her position - how she made it in life, etc... they swap numbers etc...
Then they depart - after long silences and smiles and looking at each other...
Well, the story is suppose to go - that he calls her - awkwardly(?), and they start to have a love affair... and confess stuff and we
really see two people who were still madly in love with each other... she is so happy and fulfilled that she decides to quit her job... she gives up her life for him... he is still secretive about his life - in the
story we only hear about her past but not his - his character is such that it is fitting that he is very private about himself...
But we get to feeling that he isn't as honest as he seems as the story goes on...
The crunch line is when we find out that he had planned this all from a long time ago - it wasn't a coincidence that they meet 10 years later - he planned how to meet her... and that he had watched her and has a
photo album of her life till the point they meet... She finds this information just as she goes back into his flat to change a purse that she accidentally spills something on, before they go out for a night to the opera
and dinner... something drops out of the closet as she reaches in, the album... he waits happily unaware, by the car... They continue to go to the opera and the dinner... we see how she acts normal - but subtly
questions him about certain things... we see a point when he realises what she has found out...
We now do not know if he is a psychotic killer/ stalker or what...
Somewhere in the film we see him taking
pills - he tells her they are for high blood pressure/
Then that is where it fizzles out a bit... He is definitely a stalker... he stalked her from when they met first till now... It could be a flop, needs a lot
of work put into it...
Ah ha! I know how to rescue it... he shows her the life he plans for them... and somehow she/ us the viewers realise what a great love story it is...
Note: He never loses his cool
exterior... it is always she who breaks down and gets emotional... He can state the truth to her - like a pyscho killer - he doesn't attempt to calm her or really react to her... When she comes round - she stares at him
and yet there is still no readable reaction in his face... he 'looks' back at her rather than 'stares' back...
At the very end, she finds the glass which had been tampered with - a small hole drilled in the
bottom so that it would leak - and she/ we find out that he had planned that she would find the photo album...
27th April 2007
Work...
There is so much stuff to do at the moment... It
is like getting in a swimming pool, thinking it is a 25 metre length one but when you look down towards the other end, it is actually a 50 metre one and much further away to the end... But we take a big breathe and
start swimming towards it anyway... maybe I should count myself lucky that I can see the end... :-I
... and so we slide in at the shallow end and start swimming...
26th April 2007:
Dehoading/ decluttering <expanded>
With dehoarding comes finding meaning/ quality... you become more picky... It's a learning of finding out what you value in life... - without this process someone who had
nothing just _________ collects everything to fill a psychological need...
(also, writing is not easy... it needs to be worked at... I might try to write more eloquently in order to get my point across in the
best way, in the future :-) - also, I seem on a mission to persistently write part sentences... - this is also something in my life which could be decluttered... :-I25th April 2007:
I've been
quite organised lately... I've been tidying up my room... it all started with me being finished with the newspaper - though I selected what I wanted to read... you see, I am a hoarder because I come from a poor family
and we didn't have much when I was growing up... now I am decluttering and feeling 'ok' to let go of stuff... I am actually saying to myself that it will make me realise what to treasure in life and hone/ fine tune the
things that actually are me and to let go of those that aren't... also, I am intrigued to let this new person (me) grow who hasn't had a chance yet to...
24th April 2007:
It's not working - I'm
going to watch Newsnight or BBC News at 10pm... I can't possibly read the whole of the Sunday newspaper and the supplement sections :-P
I have also been swimming this evening... it's quite good because I haven't
been for a month and I didn't get tired by the time the hour was up... also, my back was fine through it :-) 23rd April 2007:
I plan to buy the Independent on Sunday and take the whole week to
get through it all... then also I am watching the BBC News in the mornings... that should more or less cover it - and make me less ignorant :-I
22nd April 2007:
12.20pm - lunch in Chinese
restaurant with parents and brother (Jim is still in Germany)
2pm - Halfords shop for car care things
4pm - home to read Independent on Sunday
21st April 2007:
9am - out to town to buy
some shirts for work and a really large flan tin for making quiche :-)
10am - into work to finish something off and organise 'picture work' for walls in office
2.30pm - tea in nice garden of friends :-)
4pm - wash car with mum
5pm - wax car
9pm - watch TV/ chill out 20th April 2007: http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/92 Jim sent me this article recently... It is about using design to display data - making it more usable and understandable... Hans Rosling is also trying to make a point that so
much of what we get from data can be quite generalised eg shown as trends and therefore misconceived results/ ideas are drawn... The way how he displays the data can unlock many more conclusions because all the
information/ parameters are retained in his graphs which also have play-able timelines... :-)19th April 2007:
Update/ In the light of further information - I think he meant to kill her and
then when it didn't make him feel any better he went on a killing rampage... and when he realised that wasn't changing anything - he shot himself - (as he had thought an option to do...)
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Today, I am going to read another chapter of Julian's Barnes's 'The Lemon Table' - I always liked his stories - though they are quite oldish english people being
brought up with local dialects of the county they lived in, etc... I am reading a chapter a night - and am getting through it quite quickly... I have stopped reading the book which had halted my reading - because I just
didn't seem to be getting through it - that was 'Atlas Shrugged' by Ayn Rand - there is just so much text and things to take in that I realise that I could leave them at the bit where they are first experiencing the
train ride on the new lines - and pick it up again in a years time and still be able to carry on reading the rest of the story...
Meanwhile, I will read the Lemon Table, then another book someone leant me to
read... and then the books from Amazon will have arrived and will be read next :-) 18th April 2007:
Erm... I think I know why Cho Seung-Hui did what he did... He was too alone... depressed
thoughts... bad thoughts... he felt his life was pointless... what is the meaning of it all? (now that he knew)... He had to end it... to escape... He also hated himself... He killed those students so that he could be
hated... He hated himself so much and so shot himself at the end so that it was the ultimate punishment/ no life in the future to re-build/ repent... denying himself this opportunity... It was him saying they had won/
he had lost... He felt anger turned to calm... He thought it through... pictured it in his head... the panic/ screaming - as people knew they were going to die... He killed them, he made it so - it was the last thing he
had left which gave him some control, and power over his life/ the world... He had grown to realise it... It wasn't a world that allowed him to play a part in... How he envisaged it/ himself to be... How it had turned
out so wrong... He realised this... and hated it... He killed because he couldn't stand it that this was the reality...
17th April 2007:
I am going to read The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath... - one day
soon... got to catch up on reading other things first... 16th April 2007:
The weather is still nice... Am looking forward to summer :-) The weekend was gorgeous - made a beautiful bacon,
mushroom & onion flan on Sunday - yum, yum... decided to do a bit of reading for the rest of it... All in all, it was a good weekend...
14th April 2007:
It was a really nice day today spent at
Hampstead Heath with a friend - relaxing and chatting about things... Am glad that my back is getting better all the time and I was able to do this :-) 12th April 2007: He went on 'You are good. But you are a woman. That is what it will be like for you out there. Worse! In a real restaurant, they will destroy you, unless you can show
them that you cannot be destroyed.'11th April 2007:
Ok... today I am going to push for a bit more flexibility with my back and get it back to normal so to speak... Am nearly walking back to
normal... I might go down into town this lunchtime since it is really a nice day... and look in a few shops...
Here are the lyrics to Mariah Carey's 'Vision of Love':
Treated me kind
Sweet destiny
Carried me through desperation
To the one that was waiting for me
It took so long
Still I believed
Somehow the one that I needed
Would find me eventually
I had a vision of love
And it was all that you've given to me
Prayed through the nights
Felt so alone
Suffered from alienation
Carried the weight on my own
Had to be strong
So I believed
And now I know I've succeeded
In finding the place I conceived
I had a vision of love
And it was all that you've given to me
I've realized the dream
And I visualized
The love that came to be
Feel so alive
I'm so thankful that I perceived
The answer that heaven has sent down to me
You treated me kind
Sweet destiny
And I'll be eternally grateful
Holding you so close to me
Prayed through the nights
So faithfully
Knowing the one that I needed
Would find me eventually
I had a vision of love
And it was all that you've given to me
I had a vision of love
And it was all that you turned out to be
10th April 2007:
It's so sunny outside nowadays :-) and the building is getting hot here... look at this - it's really cute :-)
9th April 2007:
Easter, etc/ What do I think?
I think Jesus Christ was a real man/ person... and that someone recognised that human-beings needed guidance in life... The Bible was so born and was a beautifully
written & convincing collection of moral tales... I think Jesus was a person who meant well/ but was also a bit schizophrenic - (hey, that's me)... in a way that he
preached goodness but believed he had this special gift to pass down to people... his friends & followers heard the message he was saying and elaborated on it and
engineered it so that it became a big thing after his death... people should not listen to the governors but that there was a greater existence - something/ someone out
there who loved you for who you are... and could take away the pain and suffering that you as a human-being beared...
(I also do believe Mary Magdalene was not a prostitute but that she was cast as that
so as not to be the equal to Jesus Christ - because it got in the way... so she was passed over and written out of the story...)
8th April 2007:
We are back in the UK now :-)... It was an interesting Easter, spent in the data centre in a place in Germany - not sure whether I can go into details - helping out
with Jim and his work colleagues... Here is a picture of their racks and room for expansion:
- erm... I couldn't get bluetooth to work to download image - got to ask a geek ;-)
I am happy to say that my back is getting better all the time and I no longer have to walk at a 60 degree angle... Hooray... I learnt a lot this weekend - mainly about
myself... and what sort of creature I am ;-)... being an invalid made me see the world in the eyes of the elderly who hobble along at a much slower pace with pangs of pain
as their bodies groaned back at them for the strain - that was me in Hanover... however, my body should hopefully be free of this soon... but now, I know that if you
see a little old lady who is struggling with heavy bags walking down a street, she really does appreciate it if you offer to help her carry her stuff...
I've just realised that these dates Jim's colleague Mo kindly gave us are really good for weak bodies or people recovering from an illness - I might eat about 5 of them
now - since some how they are actually quite nice to eat... I never really ate dates before...
Jim is chilling out watching sci-fi episodes... I got a bit restless and tired of 'they're
draining all our power/ captain, the emergency generator is down', 'identify yourselves/ we mean you know harm', 'they seem to be attacking the inner core/ the
micro-anatodes seem to be having no effect on them' - and so instead, I am writing this webdiary...
Now to chill out for the rest of the day and Monday :-) 4th April 2007:
My back is feeling a lot better - been using Ibuprofen gel on it... still on track for going to Germany at weekend... Friday we fly out - is a bit of Jim's work but WAGs are allowed to come along.
Been thinking a lot this week but haven't been writing it all down... (sigh)...
3rd April 2007:
Got lower back pain - I pulled a muscle this morning... just clinging on - waiting for
the painkillers to work... I suppose I can work it out - since am in pain and when it goes away it goes away then... |
