29th September 2007:

Arghhh!... This morning I had to get up at 6am to take Jim to his motorcycle training... However, the journey there was really pleasant :-)

I went back to sleep and now I have got up... Feel much better... Today is going to be an re-organise the flat day...

28th September 2007:

Paulo Coelho - The Zahir - the "Favour Bank"

I never knew such a thing existed... but come to think about it, I suppose it does...

For me, the people who are involved in my life are friends/ supporters - who I would help out of friendship & a willingness to do so... I know that if I didn't want to help a friend out, it wouldn't be the end of the world...

Anyway, the people in my life do not supply me with "contacts" as such but perhaps they are acquainted with like-minded people whom I admire, when I meet them, which then invigorates me in my world...

I suppose it's much more natural (maybe instinctual?) - I dislike to be "set up"...

I prefer things to happen by chance encounter... a lot of things in my world come about like this... but yes, I am surrounded by a lot of talented people and it's not by coincidence :-)

27th September 2007:

Excepts from Annie's Memoirs: 'Trying to find the guy behind my Trueman Show '

I think I have spotted you... It's you isn't it?... That is you... I know it is you..
Now that I have found you I am not going to let you go...
Are you some kind of Quentin Tarantino?

21st September 2007:

Ok... the plan is to wash everything but 2 times a week I must wear something different to work... or play...

This weekend is spent doing what?
1. Filing stuff in trays
2. Tidying up room
3. Doing accounts for business
4. Shredding stuff?
5. Reading book

16th September 2007:

I have got a plan - when I get it all a bit more organised and together... I will try to wear more clothes that I have got instead of just the same old ones... My method of doing this will be to only wash essentials and then it forces me to wear different shirts, skirts, trousers that I have but I never get round to wearing.....

14th September 2007:

When we were kids we were very cute kids ;-)

Whenever we had visitors round we would show them our collections of things or our latest toys... as if you were a King or Queen and we laid out our bestest for you. (Gosh! It's quite scary talking directly to the reader...)

13th September 2007:

Hooray! I'm happy again... woke up happy this morning :-P We are going to do more stuff for the flat this evening :-)

12th September 2007:

I've been trying to think things through... logically things can't be my fault all the time... it's not entirely my fault... sometimes it has got nothing to do with me and it's the other person who has the problem... and because I don't normally take the stance to stand up for myself it seems that I am to blame... but this all boils down to the fact that I don't care about the other person - I don't want to make waves to make them see they are wrong - I just allow them to carry on their life in ignorance... and I never show them my point of view... it's because I hate people - I don't care for them enough to correct them when they are wrong :-I

... But all this has to change... this blocks me from my goals... how can I help the world when I hate the people in it?

11th September 2007:

Last night I watched Fahrenheit 9/11.... I always wondered how someone like George W. Bush could become president... and now I know... it's all really bad...
He cares more about his golf...

I really wonder if Al Gore was meant to be the president and not him... though in reality do you really need to be president to change things?

It's just a position for a lot of arrogant people.... he can't see out of the situation he was born into, etc...

10th September 2007:

Back at home now in the flat... Just making lunch... The fridge and dressing table have arrived :-)

Another friend has had a baby... I feel happy for her... but then also sad... that perhaps what I am seeking in life is not conventional?... I like to dream on...

I don't want children - I want books... and love and good conversations... I want good chats where I can have good conversations with people and laugh and feel alive... I like friends where I can experiment push the boundaries - people I can relax with... I like having conversations where our thoughts can fly high - and it's just so good to be alive :-)

Annie is depressed again... it is evening... Annie is going to try to look after herself and go to bed...

9th September 2007:

Annie is feeling sad :-(
Annie is going to watch mindless tv
Annie found that even more depressing
Annie is eating morello cherry pie from Waitrose instead

Annie has perked up after going out to do some recycling
Annie is going to do Dad's accounts now
Annie is going to upload webdiary
Annie can't do the last 2 things since Jim is on the Windows machine

Annie is going to do some more organising and tidying up the flat instead :-)
Annie has switched the annoying tv onto radio 3 choir music Aled Jones

Annie has started to prepare tonights dinner: Chicken Korma with boiled rice

Annie ate and went to bed at 10.30pm - but stayed depressed until 12 midnight - at which point she became sleepy and fell asleep...

8th September 2007:

We have just been busily tidying up the flat yesterday evening and this morning because we have our first visitor :-) My friend James... It's good that he is coming over because it has made us unpack some more of the cardboard boxes that had been left as we awaiting more furniture arrivals from IKEAland...

It actually looks quite good already :-) This Monday we are getting our fridge - it's been a long drawn out process to get one - but finally hopefully we should have one now...

I have just reconfirmed to myself for the 5th time that I am really quite anal! I suppose it is when I see other people interact with each other... eg my friend James and Jim - and I realise that they are both quite ordinary people... now, I wonder why I have reservations about them both - kind of kept on a tag... with warning symbols attached... in order to protect my precious self... I think this happens with a lot of people... I suppose I never really realised it because I always try to remain neutral with people but this means that I 'hide' myself and when the people don't remain neutral back - eg voice their opinions, I get offended :-I...

Maybe I should just go out there and be myself/ offend people... I suppose perversely that is the way we get people to know us and how true friendships can be formed...

6th September 2007:

There is definitely something going on... I feel really sad... as if something sad has happenned but I don't know what... My cycle is about 34 days long... it's about that time...

This evening we hope to go swimming... while I still can beforehand... then afterwards we will eat dinner...

Work is going ok - got a busy day tomorrow but hopefully things should be cleared soon...

This evening I will put some washing on - I think I will do that now... ok, done that... now what shall I do?

I think I am hungry and I have started to microwave a large jacket potato to be eaten with left overs mushroom mascapone sauce from yesterday meal... Also, making myself a lemon and honey tea - (2 thin slices lemon + 2 tablespoons honey)... I have time, swimming isn't until fairly late evening...

Now I think I will go to tidy up the bedroom... hopefully the natural pine dressing table will be delivered as they say on Monday... I need to make room to receive it...

Now I have eaten...

4th September 2007:

At work at the moment... It is just before lunch and I am busy printing stuff out... Feel so tired lately... and a bit depressed... worried about my Mum - the situation she was trying to escape from is fast materialising again - and I think she is planning to do it again... She doesn't tell anyone - there are no signs... except that you know she doesn't care much for things... and has lost real interest in things...

... I feel sad... it is the time of that month again...

3rd September 2007:

Q: Do we need an answer machine for the flat?
A: No, because we can't be bothered to call people back :-P

2nd September 2007:

I think I have worked out why I keep on nearly tripping over myself down the stairs at work recently... it's because there are some stairs up to our flat and they are fairly steep ones, while the ones at work are fairly shallow... And it's me having to adjust my footing/ remember where I am, now that there are two very different stairs in my life ;-P

It's now Sunday afternoon... where there is a lull in activity...

1st September 2007:

If this uploads that means that I have done it! and have transfered everything successfully onto Jim's windows machine in the flat... fingers crossed...